dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
