Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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