Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
