Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
