Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
