Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
