It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
