so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
