I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Randomize
