You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
