I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
