those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
