This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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