i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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