I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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