i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Who died my cat blue again?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
