But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
