Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
