I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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