But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
