I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Everclear isn't food dammit
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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