turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
