I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
