Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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