Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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