No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
