would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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