Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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