i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
