You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
