Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
