we're chasing vodka with high fives
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
