If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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