I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
