You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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