im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
