he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
