we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
How's work?
Spinning.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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