The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
