i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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