Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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