Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
