Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
