there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
