Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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