he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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