The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
