it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
