my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
