mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
