Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
